A tasty dinner with his crew turned out to be a recipe for disaster for a Danish naval commander.

The captain of patrol vessel Lauge Koch was fined a meaty DKK 6,000 ($890) after the ship’s cook shot a musk ox in a Greenland national park, then served it to the sailors. Hunting is illegal in the park, Greenland’s KNR broadcaster reported.

The vessel’s disgrace does not end there. Two officers were fined for trading tax-free cigarettes and alcohol for three narwhal tusks while the ship was in Ittoqqortoormiit, as the Lauge Koch continued its one-ship crusade against the local wildlife. The tusks can fetch thousands of kroner.

If the Danish Royal Navy proves as deadly against the nation’s foes as it does against Greenland’s animals, citizens can sleep safely in their beds.

****

Stamford Shipping’s 63,400-dwt bulker Drogba (built 2015) — a tribute to former Chelsea Football Club striker Didier Drogba — claims ship name of the week.

A Chelsea fan is obviously in charge of naming vessels at the Singapore-based joint venture between Olam International and private equity interests. Other ships in the fleet will be familiar to the club’s fans: Vialli, Lampard and Di Matteo. The odd one out is Zola, named after French novelist Emile. Only joking. It’s a reference to former Chelsea maestro Gianfranco.

Speaking of which, why is the company named after Chelsea’s home ground, Stamford Bridge?

****

Finally, a maritime nature story that doesn’t involve slaughtering the local wildlife. According to local media, an ailing avian landed on the deck of Amsol’s 2,900-gt salvage tug SA Amandla (built 1976) off South Africa on 27 December.

Believing the bird was an exhausted petrel, the crew gave it food and a safe place to rest before calling the National Sea Rescue Institute. They named the bird Diesel. Diesel, petrel, get it? Not a very environmentally friendly name, but then again, the bird can consider itself lucky not to have ended up on the menu of some passing Danish naval ship.